This week something happened at my work that really opened my eyes, touched my heart, and made me view many things in a whole different light. I work at retail store called Ross Dress For Less, I'm sure you've heard of it. I like to view Ross as a melting pot for all different types of people—I think the best part of working there is being able to socialize with people from all walks of life. But, unfortunately, the story I am about to tell you isn't pleasant...
We're at Ross following two lovely women who are picking out some dresses to try on in the fitting room. This shopping trip is obviously therapeutic and fun, they're enjoying life. But, as usual, people stare at these women—sometimes even gawk at them. They've become used to it. It's Utah, after all, and many people are still stuck in their very small worlds.
As soon as the women have their dresses picked out they go to the fitting room eager to try them on. The fitting room attendant is uncomfortable—she can only see men in drag, just like many other people. Believing that they shouldn't go into the women's fitting room she tries to point them towards the men's. Of course, they're women now and, as such, want to go where they belong. The fitting room attendant, not sure what to do, calls for one of the new managers to come to the fitting room and help her with this 'problem.'
By the time the manager shows up the women have come back to the fitting room to try on some more dresses they've found—they're happy and unaffected. This is supposed to be a fun, therapeutic shopping trip after all. But that's when the manager, who has little to no experience, stands like a Nazi by the men's fitting room and tries forcing the women into the men's area. The one woman, astonished that anyone could act so cold and rude, informs the manager that she won't go into the men's fitting room. The manager, however, still won't relent. He keeps throwing the women dirty looks and making them feel unwelcome and belittled. The woman then went as far as to show the manager her driver's license which legally declared her a female. But still the manager wouldn't accept it.
Now, these women probably knew something like this could happen. I mean, they know just as well as the next guy that Utah is a little slow on the acceptance train. But the one woman was heartbroken. You see, all her life she's had severe depression and self-image problems. She's always disliked the person staring back at her. Honestly, it wasn't until recently when she'd actually started accepting and loving the person she'd become. But the human self-esteem is a very fragile thing. One upsetting moment, no matter how big or how small it may be, can damage the psyche of a person and set them back several huge steps. This is one of those moments for that woman.
Naturally, what the manager, employees, and other customers did really hurt these women to the point that they decided just to leave. Their fun and therapeutic day of shopping was cut short and made into a very horrible day that they will probably never forget.
I wasn't there when this happened, but their story affected me. It hurt me to hear people I considered friends talk so coldly and callously about people who they perceived as different and immoral. My eyes were suddenly opened, as well as the eyes of the Ross management. Unfortunately, however, no matter what Ross does this episode will always stick with those women. Since that event the management has informed everyone to let the customer choose where they feel the most comfortable going when they enter the fitting room.
The women, however, knew that they needed more justice than that. So, that's when they called corporate to report the manager who had been so cruel to them. Corporate, sadly, couldn't nor wouldn't do anything except slap that manager on the wrist—although they did assure the women that severe punishment would be delivered.
Now, if you'll recall earlier I stated that this situation really opened my eyes. I'd like to take a moment and explain why and how it did so. My whole life I always knew I was different. I didn't know exactly how different but I just knew I didn't really fit in with the other boys and girls. I was always bullied and teased—my nickname from many was faggot. I didn't know why people thought I was gay...I couldn't be like that! I was a good, LDS, boy. I knew that homosexuality was a sin so how could I be like that?
As much as I tried to deny it, as much as I feared it, I always knew I was attracted to other boys. I'd always have these feelings pop up that weren't appropriate for a young, straight guy to be feeling. But I tried to dismiss the feeling, I repented for ever having those feelings. But they'd always come back. Still, I chose to live in denial because it was safer to hide who I was then to accept it and be chastised.
Unfortunately, by doing this I ended up badly hurting others and to this day I am still sorry because I did end up hurting someone I deeply loved because of a truth I refused to acknowledge. But through all of that I realized that I had to start accepting myself—every part of myself. So, in September of 2009 I came out of the closet to the shock of many family and friends—although some always did expect it and weren't shocked at all.
Suddenly, I was in a whole new world. I was free to be me. It was one of the most liberating moments of my life. But, still, I had a lot to work on. I had a lot of bad stigma still attached with the LGBT community, I was taught to believe that their life was a life of reckless abandon and sin. Now, here I was a new member to the community. Eventually, however, I easily began to accept the LGB community. I knew that God created us this way and that we were perfect the way we are. But I couldn't say I felt the same way about the transgendered community.
How could anyone be transgendered? That's blasphemy to God! Those were my exact thoughts. I felt like if anything was a sin that was probably it. But aha! Look at me now! I'm the one passing judgment and trying to put a group down. So, I figured the best thing to do was to just drop the whole thought and forget about it. I hadn't accepted the transgendered community, but I hadn't chastised them either. It was just something that was there, if that makes any sense. I was merely neutral.
So, back to the story, a couple of days later while I was at work I was asked to cover the fitting room attendants lunch before my shift ended. It's an easy job so, of course, I agreed. That's when the women came back. They then asked me if the one manager still worked at Ross and I told them that unfortunately he still did. I could tell that the one woman, who was deeply affected by what the manager did, was crushed by the news that he wasn't punished or fired. But they still went to try on their dresses, they probably wondered if I'd try to stop them from entering the women's fitting room...but I knew that's where they belonged. But, of course, immediately after they entered a couple of women exited and complained to management.
While they were in there I started feeling these urges to tell them how beautiful and amazing they were I wanted to apologize for the small-mindedness of people. I wanted to take all of their pain, hurt, and regret away. I wanted to tell them that God loves them and that He created them and that if they felt they were meant to be women that that was okay and that God would accept it and love them anyways, because maybe something did go wrong. Maybe just maybe they were meant to be women!
Soon, the fitting room attendant I was covering for came back and it was time for me to go but I was determined to stay until I could talk to the women. I knew in my heart that it was something I had to do not just for them, but for me as well. I knew I had to finally step forward and accept, love, and welcome the transgendered community.
Eventually, I got my chance and finally was able to talk to the women. Their stories broke my heart, the things they went through were pretty much the same things I went through. We weren't different at all. We were the same in so many ways. My heart suddenly felt a million times bigger, I felt so much love for these women. I accepted them and I knew in my heart that God does and always has as well. He was waiting for me to stop judging and to finally love. I feel that he brought these women here for a reason, and that they were there to teach me a lesson that has truthfully changed my whole life.
Before, I left to clock out I gave those women a huge hug and I wanted to kiss them as well. We talked about so many things it felt like they were two of my closest friends. I then realized that those women were the nicest people I'd met in quite some time, the women that people thought were immoral and sinful were actually, in my opinion, closer to God than they were. Naturally, a few of my fellow co-workers had some snide remarks to say to me after they saw that I was carrying out a conversation with the women. It broke my heart again, but it also made me feel bad for them. God tells us in the Holy Bible to "Love thy neighbor, as thyself." So, I guess you can say that there is sin being committed here—but it's not by the transgendered community, no, it's by the people who aren't loving, accepting, and welcoming them.
In closing, I just want to tell my community, the LGBT community, that I love you! To my transgendered brothers and sisters, I want you to know I love and accept you! I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to move forward, but I am now an avid defender and friend and you'll always find acceptance and love from me. So, please, everyone let's stop hating and start loving. Life is much too short. We're all one. We are all children of God. We are all brothers and sisters. Stop judging, let go of all that hate and just love thy neighbor as thyself because then, and only then, that's where we'll discover pure unconditional love taking control of the earth.
Life Is Beautiful.
No comments:
Post a Comment